Surviving the Bermuda Triangle

If you are going through a divorce, or in the first few years after your divorce, this time of year can be extremely difficult. I would go so far as to say the pain can be crippling. Of course I’m talking about what is often referred to as “The Bermuda Triangle” of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.

 As you are reading this, many of you are preparing for the first time to go through Thanksgiving without your former spouse, and possibly apart from your children for the first time. All of those traditions that you grew used to and may have loved have now changed. For me, I miss the smell of my ex wife’s monkey bread on Thanksgiving morning as we all watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. For you, it might be having your whole family together playing a board game, or even the chaos going on around you as you watch the Detroit Lions lose another Thanksgiving Day football game (sorry, Lions fans…).

 So as we begin this holiday season, the question becomes, how do we survive it? The answer can be found in the virtue of hope. Some of you know that I’m a practicing Catholic, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church talks about hope this way, “Hope is the theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ’s promises and relying not on our strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit” (C.C. 1817).

 It goes on to say, “The virtue of hope responds to the aspiration to happiness which God has placed in the heart of every man; it takes up the hopes that inspire men’s activities and purifies them so as to order them to the Kingdom of heaven; it keeps man from discouragement; it sustains him during times of abandonment; it opens up his heart in the expectation of eternal beatitude” (C.C. 1818).

 No matter what form of Christianity you practice, or even whether or not you are a believer, those words are beautiful and a great description of what hope is. My Brothers, this virtue is a gift given to us freely by God.

So what’s the opposite of hope? The answer is despair. Despair at its core is a denial of who God is because God promises to always be by us and never abandon us. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be sad or express your emotions - you should - but within that we should never let go of the hope promised to us by Christ. Sometimes hope is the only thing that gets us to the next moment.

 So in the coming weeks, when you feel down, when you feel like you can’t possibly go on, remember hope.

 And don’t forget, you aren’t alone. If you are feeling down or like you can’t manage during this time, reach out to us either by email at [email protected] or phone at (512) 953-3563. Also, do not forget about the 988 suicide and crisis hotline in the United States - do not hesitate to call them, people love you and want you around.

 May God Bless You & Keep You, 

Chris